Help a Sister Out

Look at that lady walking down the street. The one with the gunt hanging over her Umbros (yes, they still make those) and the horrendous home-made Italia shirt complete with bra-less nipples on show. Look at her walking with her friend, who makes for an interesting juxtaposition looking very well put together. Capris, boobs looking even; so clearly age-appropriate underwear is employed here, button-up shirt and sunglasses, most likely being used in the form of a disguise here.

Now, I think we all know that I am a feminist. So I'm not trying to hate on my fellow ladies, even the one who is dressed like David Lee Roth circa 1984. However, I am casting a judgmental eye over her friend. Girls, it is your duty to tell your friend when they are leaving the house looking like a tramp. True dat! We do it to our other halves all the time..."You're wearing that?!" "Are you really wearing that?!" "Where the hell did you find that?!" Let's not be coy, girls. We are good at bossing people around when it comes to fashion, but not always our friends.

Who out there doesn't have an incredible friend that insists on baring her midriff in the dead of winter when we've all got our hibernation layer of fat on? I AM that girl and to this day not one of my friends has told me to put it away. Why not? Is it a) because we are secretly loving the fact that our friend looks comparatively worse than us? Is it b) are we so embarrassed for them that we haven't the heart to say anything? Or are c) we all are just so highly evolved that it's live and let live? My money is on a with a bit of b. Sorry.
 Now I don't want to perpetuate the myth that all women are bitches and that we will claw each other's eyes out any chance we get. Because that's just not true post 20, but I do think that sometimes we are so insecure that we will watch a beloved friend look like a tit on a night out to make us feel better about how we look ourselves.

Case and point Hannah Horvath from Girls. Yes, I know she is not real, but the relationships between the women on that show are scarily accurate. Of course Hannah is awesome, no doubt, but she always looks like the Disney Store's Under 10's department barfed on her mid-shower (before hair washing commenced) and none of her incredibly well put-together fiends says shit about it. This. Is. Wrong. Let's be friends not frenemies. The next time your friend tries to step out looking like menopausal Britney Spears, suggest an alternative. Don't be horrible about it, but help a sister out! Like this:
Me: Oh Hey, Hannah! I'm loving your jogging bottoms/ bralett ensemble, but that bralett would go amazingly well with those high-waisted palazzos you have. What do you think?
Worst case scenario, she says "go scratch" and she wears it anyway, but at least you tried and now your hands are clean.

Obviously I am fully aware that there are some of you out there, me included, who just won't listen, and to those girls: you only have yourself to blame. But for the rest of you, give it a go. In the girl code it says that we should always speak up if your girl has something in her teeth, her skirt tucked into her tights and now let's please add-a fucking terrible outfit on.*

*Be sensitive, ladies, only mention this if said friend then has the opportunity to go and change. If she showed up looking like a hot mess far away form an available closet, then keep schtum.That's what friends are for.