Face to Facebook

I'm 'bout to do something cray and give up Facebook.

As it stands I can only make this promise to myself for a week and then I'll have to see if I am still a person after seven whole days of no one 'liking' my photos or posts. Tomorrow begins the first of my seven 24-hour periods where I don't spray my verbal diarrhea in the bar that innocently asks 'What's on your mind?'

I've been thinking about this since I returned from Sri Lanka. Whilst away, my life became increasingly virtual. My interactions and my thoughts were shared through the medium of Instagram and Facebook and it felt normal. Now that I'm back in the land of free time and beer, I'm worried that I have nothing to say, or at least that I've forgotten how to say it. Am I capable of more than one thought at a time? Am I able to respond authentically to your words without a little blue thumb? Because that's just it. I feel that my dealings with other people are becoming less and less intimate and authentic. Yuck.

I'll still be writing. I hope that this exercise will improve my writing, because right now what I'm writing in my tiny text box is making me sad. I don't want to engage in a conversation about Ferguson or Israel on Facebook. I'm not interested in reading inspirational quotes that tell me how to live or how not to, as is usually the case. I don't want to be bombarded with images of people dumping buckets of ice on their heads or videos that play without my permission and without sound that me make me panic momentarily that I've gone deaf. I fucking hate that.

It's not that I don't want to talk to you. I do. Very much. But I want it to be a conversation. A conversation that not everyone can see or weigh in on. A conversation that doesn't creepily produce ads that are linked to our conversation. I'm curious to see how many of you will talk to me. How many will email me and start an actual correspondence that may result in me hearing your voice or seeing you. Facebook has made me so lazy. Why get on the train and meet for a coffee when we can catch up through our screens? Why go to the cinema together when we can each download the same film, watch it and then exchange notes via status updates? Why have dinner when it's easier to eat mindlessly in front of the TV and then get back on the internet.

I've justified for years that I needed Facebook because I'm so damn international, but I don't. It's a convenient excuse and maybe I'm just afraid that if I don't log on I'll be lonely. But I'm kinda lonely right now. I'm in a city with my best friends and a bazillion great things to do and I'm sat on my ass reading about the lives of people who I don't matter to.

I think what I worry about the most is that I won't see enough cat videos each day. How the hell am I going to cope with that? If you care to help me detox you can email me on kandykorn143@yahoo.co.uk or subscribe to my blog. I'll be posting here about my progress, and my failings. I look forward to our conversation.