Some pearls

I just grossed the man out sat next to me with my breakfast. What’s wrong with people that their stomach turns at the sight of a chorizo breakfast burrito? If it were me sat there, I’d have asked where I got it. These train journeys are really quite interesting. A condensed social experiment; who will sit next to who? What will people be eating? Will people sit in their assigned seats or go for the table? Everyone always wants the table. Rebels. These past few weeks have seen me go from Liverpool to Dorset and many places in between. Like a Mormon missionary I’m spreading the word of the work I do and looking for converts. So far this experience has been pleasurable if not slightly manic. I’ve missed trains, been delayed and had 2 people turn up for a talk. But it’s all part and parcel of what I’m doing, or what I’m trying to do, to achieve with this job. This life. For the first time in forever I believe in what I’m doing. I love going to work and I feel like I’m part of something much bigger than me. I don’t feel like I’m the cleverest or that people don’t understand me. I don’t feel dread pool in my belly when my alarm goes off and I don’t feel like I have something massive to prove. I just feel so lucky to be able to do something I love with people I totally admire and respect. At 33 years old I feel like I’ve finally figured some shit out and her are a few of my top tips: 1) Get a degree. You may never need it, I never have, but I’m so glad I have it. It’s taught me how to formulate cohesive arguments, stay focused and to just keep going. It was hard bloody work and I didn’t start and then finish until I was in my 30's, but I’m so glad I did. 2) If you’re not happy with what you’re doing, stop doing it. I’m sure I’ve said this a million times before, but really. It’s true. You don’t have to be miserable. Ever. And if you never try you’ll never know. I quit the one waitressing job that sustained me through 3 years, countless relationships and attempts at school. I hated it, I quit and then I moved to NYC. Now that was probably the hardest time in my life but I still did it. And then when I wasn’t happy there I moved to London. Once you do it once you stop being afraid of trying. Now I appreciate this just sounds like I keep running away from my problems, but I never was. I never had any problems to run from. My life was a boring cycle of drunk/drugged out nights and days I simply slept through. I was bored and I didn’t want to be bored anymore. If you are bored you are not happy. You don’t have to miserable and standing on the bridge to make the changes, you just have to want better and be prepared to go looking for it. Nothing ever worth having is easy and it rarely just lands in your lap. 3) Stop making excuses. Just get the job done. Eating shit sometimes is the easier way to get what you want and to get where you want to go. Arguing with your boss is never a great idea, even if they are wrong. Just eat a bit of shit and move on. Why do you make so many excuses? Seriously think about it. We all do it. It’s a reaction that has been conditioned into us since we could think for ourselves. ‘How do I get out of this?’ Fuck it. Stay in it and see what it teaches you. My old boss taught me this in a not-so-nice way, but it has stuck and I think it’s one of the reasons I've done alright so far.. Whenever I was confronted with something it was my knee-jerk reaction to make and excuse. Example: I was asked by my boss ‘Lee, why are these salt and pepper shakers not full?’ Easy enough question. My response today would be ‘I don’t know, but I’ll fill them now.’ But back then it was ‘I didn’t leave them like that. That’s how they were when I got here.’ Newsflash: NO ONE CARES. Was it my fault that they weren’t full? No, but who cares? Is it really going to make a difference? All it does when you react with an excuse is aggravate the person you are speaking to and take much longer to solve the problem. Eat some shit. Fill the salt and pepper and move on. It shows that you are a team player, that you want what’s best for the team and it really doesn’t matter who was supposed to fill the salt and pepper, they didn’t do it and it needs to be done. 4) Pick good friends. Good forever friends. We’re at an age now where friends shouldn’t be disposable. We don’t need frenemies or people who are going to be bitchy behind your back. Live genuinely and surround yourself with people who do the same. That way you never need to worry about people’s motives or that if you get too drunk and act like and ass no one will speak to you the next day. Surround yourself with people who support you, who 'get' you and who trust you and don;'t fuck it up. Don’t punish your friends for doing the same shit you do. Being idiots together is probably how you guys got to be friends in the first place. Grow with your friends. Don’t expect them to stay the same and you shouldn’t either. You’re always going to outgrow friends, but the ones you love, like really, really love work with them. It's worth it.  5) Wear sunscreen.