I spend a lot of time watching TV. I spend more time than I have
to spare watching TV. Why? Well it keeps me out of the gym and from writing my
novel and all kinds of other unsavoury habits. Also, I like it. I like the pure
escapism of calling bullshit on some really bad writing or getting engrossed in
some that's excellent.
Recently I was on a bit of a marathon watching Scandal and
Homeland. Both shows have strong, yet flawed female characters as protagonists
and anti-heroes. Both shows have a feminist edge, which I both respect and
relate to. However, the one thing that shows like this get wrong, for all the
progress that's been made for women on television, is the sex.
There is a fair amount of sex in Homeland and more than a fair
amount in Scandal. I LOVE that these intense characters enjoy their sexuality,
but I do wonder how much they would enjoy braking free of the missionary marathon. I give Kerry Washington and Clare Danes HUGE props for not embodying to
the whimpering, submissive trope we're all so familiar seeing, whom I can't
identify with at all. However, I'd still really, really like to see a woman on
television have some sex that doesn't end in a joint climax with each character
breathing into the other's mouth. This is not to say that this is unrealistic
for all women, but only 1/3 of women come from penetrative sex and I am not one
of them.
That's not to say it's sour grapes from me, but I feel that we
still have a long way to go when it comes to exploring the complexities of
sexuality on television. The most realistic depictions I have seen of sex have
been in shows featuring same-sex relationships. Remember Queer as Folk? Damn,
that was some fucking hot sex. Transparent? The women in that show who are
having sex with other women are truly winning. The heteros? Not so much. So why
is it OK to present gay or bisexual sex as nuanced and varied, but not for us
breeders?
You might be thinking to yourself, why the fuck does this even
matter? Well it matters because it sets up an unrealistic standard for 2/3 of
the world's women. I remember being with my first boyfriend and howling and
panting like an idiot because that's what I thought I was supposed to do. Most
of the time, when he came the show was over. Closed for business. I was growing
equally frustrated in our relationship, often heading to the toilet to finish
the job myself. This was not his fault, but for a very long time I thought
there was something wrong with me.
We are very quick to blame pornography for setting up women to be
failures to their lovers, but I blame my failures completely on Beverly Hills
90210. I actually find a lot of pornography more palatable than mainstream
portrayals of sex. At least you're more likely to see a tongue or a finger near
some female genitals.
I’m sure you can think of instances where I am completely wrong,
but the two shows I am referencing, one on ABC and one on Showtime, both very
different in premise and characters are not doing us ladies justice when it
comes to showing us the kind of sex we’d like to be having and that creates a
huge disconnect for me. Everything else about these shows, which are showing women as diverse and complicated characters is fantastic, but I want
to see some face sitting on their part.
Just to conclude, here is a man fingering some fruit. Because yes. Take note, President Fitzgerald Grant.
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