Are we there yet?

It's Saturday morning and I'm supposed to be asleep. I've been surviving on about 4-5 hours a night and packets of Hawaiian biscuits for sustenance. I'm supposed to be asleep, but this beautiful, sunshiney Sri Lankan morning has pulled back my blankets and coaxed me awake with its smells and sounds.

I'm nearly at the two week mark of my time in Sri Lanka and it feels like I've been here for months. The weather is cooler, the storms more intense and the obstacles feel at times like stairs too steep and dangerous to attempt, but they have been attempted and for the most part I have stood at the top and wondered how the fuck I made it up. I made it with the help of the incredible people I work with and with the help of being too stupid not to try.

Putting people on planes and keeping people from getting on planes has been the sum of recent events. Every day I feel a little helpless, a little important and a little sad that on that day I couldn't do more. But I also feel a little proud that shit got done. No matter how small it seems, shit gets done. My heart is engorged by working with the best team with the best intentions. My heart is broken for sometimes falling short and for having to make decisions that no one wants to have to make. I'm constipated both emotionally and physically and have reached all new levels of intimacy with my room mate due to the walls of the toilet not reaching the ceiling.

However, despite the cozy conditions we are living in luxury and there are no complaints from either of us. As seems to be that pattern with me and moving in Sri Lanka, the house that was chosen as our residence never actually prepared for our arrival, despite the month's notice and we were met with plywood and dirt where there was supposed to be beds and cupboards. As a solution we have been moved into a hostel with air conditioning and wifi. We have a kettle and according to the gossip, we're married. We will leave this beautiful oasis tomorrow and move back in with our previous family.

These past few weeks have been filled with dirty-ass butt pants, wanting two things and Big Mackrels, and they have been great. I'm both terrified and excited for the rest of the summer and looking forward to meeting the rest of the inspired and inspirational people who will come here and make this place theirs. It is all very much the same but different. And that's just what I wanted.